Safety Planning

If you are thinking about leaving an abusive partner it is important to keep yourself and your children safe and ensure that you have support from friends, family or support services like Jigsaw Central Lakes.

Where possible it is best to plan ahead and think about both short and long term safety plans to keep yourself and your children safe after separation.

In the event that you are being assaulted:

  • Leave if you can – Be aware of all exits, is there anything blocking your escape route
  • If possible keep a cell phone on you
  • Are you leaving on foot and if so where are you going? If you are going to a neighbour's house, are they aware that they are part of your safety plan? It is best to organise this in advance in conjunction with your neighbour so they know what to expect and how they can assist.
  • If you are leaving by car, is there a spare car key handy? Is there petrol in the car and have you parked your vehicle ready for a fast getaway?
  • Leave a spare set of clothing with a family member, neighbour or friend for yourself and your children.
  • Keep all important documents (passports, birth certificates, etc), cash, bank cards, medications together and place them where you can get them quickly or leave them with a "safe" person.
  • If you get stuck in the house stay away from high risk areas such as the kitchen, stairs and garage and keep away from weapons. If there are children in the house, have a code word you can say to them so they know that help is needed. Depending on their age they could:
    • Call 111 for help. Teach your children what to tell the operator. "My name is Jane. My address is 15 Mountain Rd. My Mum is getting hurt and needs help now".
    • Run to a neighbour for help
    • Get to a safe place outside the house to hide
  • Use judgement and intuition. When the situation is very serious you may have to do what the attacker wants until things calm down. Then be on the alert for your chance to escape and get help. 

Preparation for separation 

  • Tell only who needs to know like trusted friends or support workers about your plans.
  • Arrange transport in advance and know where you'll go.
  • Tell children only what they need to know, when they need to know it. Wait until plans are well advanced before talking to them. They don't need the stress of keeping a difficult secret, and younger children often are just not able to keep secrets. 
  • Gather documents. Birth certificates, marriage certificate, copies of Protection Orders, custody papers, passports, any identification papers, driver's licence, insurance policies, Work and Income documents, IRD number, bank account details and statements, cheque book, cash cards, immigration documentation, medical and legal records, etc. 
  • Keep record of any injuries. Ask your doctor to do this on your patient records. 

Long term safety after separation

  • You may want to apply for a Protection Order, discuss this with your support worker or your lawyer.
  • Teach your children what to do if your ex-partner makes contact with them unexpectedly, rules about checking first before opening the door, coming inside or going to neighbours if he/she comes to the house, telling a teacher if they are approached at school, call 111 if taken by ex-partner.
  • Keep your community informed. Tell other adults who take care of your children who has permission to pick them up, and who does not have permission. Warn them if you think your ex-partner may try to take the children.
  • Use different shops and banks to those you used when you lived with your ex-partner.
  • Strengthen your home security. Change your locks and if possible get bolt locks, security chains etc and make sure children know to use the security features at all times. Consider installing an outside lighting system that lights up when a person comes near your house at night. Plan for extra safety between leaving your car and entering your home, e.g. an automatic garage door opener, safety lighting, etc
  • Tell neighbours that your partner does not live with you and ask them to call the Police if she/he is seen near your house, or if they hear an assault occurring.
  • Tell your employer that you have a Protection Order, or that you do not want your ex-partner to have access to you. If your car is parked in an isolated place have someone walk with you.
  • Telephone the Police if your ex-partner breaches the Protection Order. Contact your lawyer and Jigsaw. If the Police do not help, contact your Jigsaw or your lawyer for assistance.
  • Install 'Caller ID' on your phone and ask for an unlisted number. Make sure that emergency services have access to your phone number.
  • Contact Elections NZ on 0800 367 656 or go to www.elections.org.nz and ask for your name and address to be excluded from the published electoral roll.
  • Use social media with caution to hide all personal information that might give away where you live and anything about you that you wish to keep private from your ex-partner. You also need to make sure that any of your 'Friends' on social media know to not disclose anything about where you live, etc on social media.
  • Talk to your children about social media. Depending on their ages and maturity level, it may be wise to restrict their access to any social media, or make sure they understand to never give out their personal details on social media.