What is Domestic Violence / Abuse?
The Power and Control Wheel below is a useful reference to identify what behaviours can be described as Domestic Violence / Abuse.
What are the warning signs?
Has your partner ever...
- Smashed or broken things around the house?
- Monitored or limited your phone calls, conversations and email?
- Kept you from seeing family and friends?
- Taken away money from you or controlled the money?
- Called you fat or ugly or lazy, or made you feel bad about the way you look?
- Said that you were 'asking for it' after physically hitting or abusing you?
- Tried to control who you see, and when and where you can go out or be away from home?
- Threatened to hurt you, the children, pets, a friend or members of your family?
- Used your children to threaten you - for example, told you that you would lose custody or you'll never see the children again?
- Made you do something very humiliating or degrading?
- Insisted you dress more or less sexually than you want?
- Called you a whore, slut or other put-downs?
- Made you have sex after emotional or physical abuse or when you are sick?
- Made you beg for sexual affection or attention?
- Threatened to turn you into the IRD, Work and Income, Child Youth and Family, or the Police?
- Pushed, shoved or pulled you?
- Slapped, kicked or punched you?
- Thrown objects at you?
- Threatened to hurt himself/herself if you leave him?
If you identify with any of these, you are probably being abused.